Expressed opinions Entrepreneur Contributors are their own.
When I was growing up, my mother often worked 12- to 14-hour days – she was born into an age where long-term hard work, devotion and a strong character showed. As an adult, he followed in the footsteps of his parents and their grandparents and much more. My sister and I would watch her wake up every morning at 5:00, leave home at 6:00 for work, and not go home until 7:00 in the evening, which meant we were lazy kids most of the time. Our childhood. Another thing is that we rarely spent quality time with my mother. We used to play sports but he never came to our event. When I ask, “Mom, are you going to finish my track?”, She’ll answer, “No, I’m going to work.”
Even though I despised her for working so long, seeing it forced me to believe that this was the only way I could do it for myself and my family. As a result, I got my doctorate when I got a full-time job and six hours a day as a school social worker married! I was tired – using every ounce of energy I had. But why did I find it acceptable? Even without realizing it, I was living a life based on the belief that no amount of money was enough and that I would break down if I didn’t “crush and rush.” Unfortunately, many of us have the same beliefs and have subscribed to the same punitive lifestyle.
What is financial trauma?
In 2016, Dr. Galen Buckwalter, a research psychologist, conducted a study focusing on the connection between personality and financial behavior. He found that one in four Americans suffers from financially induced post-traumatic stress disorder, which includes anxiety, self-destructive behavior, isolation, avoidance, denial, movement, and hypervigilance when confronted with financial realities.
Related: The road to happiness is not what you think it is
There are a number of factors that can cause such trauma during adolescence, including a history of loss of income, limited savings, high debt, divorce, divorce, financial abuse in relationships, and more. But as adults, much of it is shaped by our childhood. My point of view is to communicate the direction I have received and what I have seen, as well as to discuss my mother’s views on money (basically not enough). Have you ever considered what lessons you were taught as a child and how they contributed to your relationship with money as an adult?
How is it manifested?
Everyone is susceptible to financial trauma, whether you grew up in a limited way or with a wide range of financial resources. Some of the symptoms to look out for:
A Avoidance. This can take the form of not opening the bill, not discussing the money and not seeing the balance. This is a symptom where even thinking about money can be very stressful and as a result a person prefers to avoid the subject completely.
A Extra expense. It basically boils down to big and small purchases, without spending money to cover them – out of your budget. One of the patterns I see in many clients is that they don’t even have a budget. It is very important to be committed to one and to be in it.
A Lack of boundaries. No need to pay for your services or products, borrowing money when you can’t afford it and charging less and / or not asking for more money even though you deserve it is a classic example of this feature. It is important to evaluate who you are and your gifts, both mentally and financially.
A Underspending Presenting yourself or your business as not investing – holding funds so tightly that you are not positioning yourself for growth – and this is the consequence of the fear of not being able to make more money and the fear of not being able to see your money from the place of scarcity otherwise. . You have Acquired It’s worth your money, and it’s worth using to position yourself for opportunities and development: Don’t hold on so tightly that your situation stagnates.
Related: Fear of running out of poor money? Use psychology to predict your financial behavior
Overcoming financial trauma
Healing from any type of trauma starts with a choice to do it and here are some tips to get you started:
Acknowledge that your current relationship with money is not helping to create the desired financial results. Once you acknowledge that you want and deserve better, then you can properly evaluate those needs. It’s important to be prepared to give up old ways that don’t help you become the person you want to be.
Decide how you want your money relationship to look. Do you want to spend on yourself without fear? To create a weekly or monthly savings goal? Drawing boundaries around caring for others and the degree to which you dedicate yourself? Identify what it will look like for you to be happy and these considerations are not about other people: focus on yourself.
Seek professional help. I would recommend that either before or while working with a financial professional, you work with a mental health practitioner who specializes in trauma healing. Trauma has a profound effect on who we are, how we think, how we react to others, and how we treat ourselves, and it is entirely possible that this happened in childhood. If so, you have been working from the injury site for several years. Having a support team to help you through the healing process will not only be helpful but you will not have to go it alone.
Related: Here are 3 simple steps you can take to begin the process of preparation for mediation